Extra Ordinary Ideas

Cooler is Hotter

When its warm, it is warming, and when it is cool it is warming also. Which would be so much more fun to make fun of if I only I hadn't become convinced that there is probably something to it.

Boston Rumble?

Thanks to Dean's partial implosion, the Democratic primary contest remains up in the air. I live in hope of an entertaining floor fight in my new city. Do you think candidate mud wrestling would improve ratings for the convention?

UPDATE: Well, naturally William Safire is ahead of me this morning. I knew there must be some reason why his columns draw a large national readership while this blog, mysteriously, has not!

Extra Ordinary Curricula

I'd expect this article from the Des Moines register to inspire colorful apoplexy at The Corner:

"Urbandale High School students went to school without books this week. Instead, they studied 1960s war protest songs, baseball statistics, Kenyan dances and potential careers."

Students were reportedly also taught how to do laundry. Back to basics indeed.

Taxing Solitude

Stymied once too many times by the pesky requirement that a supermajority of 60% approve new local property taxes, the Washington State House this week passed legislation to make a simple majority sufficient. The reason? The children. It's just too hard to convince those childless young couples and gay hipsters to approve further tax increases for education.

Ladies and gentlemen of the House: children are a private choice, not a public good. I'll raise one when and if I'm good and ready.

Quote of the Day

The WAPO reports:

"The Chinese government is planning to implement judicial reforms that could sharply reduce its use of the death penalty and is debating new legislation to abolish the power of police to send people to labor camps without trial, according to Chinese legal scholars who have participated in the deliberations."

Jump In

I'm laying down more text on The Fly Bottle today than anywhere else. Gender issues. Good fun. To join in, click here and here.

Orphan Editorial

Is this one worse than usual? I don't think it was ever picked up.

Academic Privacy

It's working so far to protect campus filesharers, but politicans don't appear to have any. So you thought your SAT score was private information? Apparently not. One has to wonder whether these were released by the President's campaign or were the arguably dubious result of opposition research.

Courtesy of the Yale Diva.

Spokane Boredom Hits Crisis Level

The Seattle Times reports on the lengths to which Eastern Washingtonians are driven in an effort to entertain themselves:

"Three men streaking through the warmth of a Denny's restaurant were chilled and chagrined when they spotted a thief driving away in their getaway car, their clothing inside. Naked in the 20-degree weather, the three young men huddled behind cars in an adjacent parking lot until police arrived."

Air Sick

The Transportation Safety Administration has indeed become a monster, and I’m embarrassed that I didn’t do more to oppose its creation two years ago. I should’ve written an editorial. Or at least called my congresswoman. Instead I endure airport security once every month or two knowing that, to some small extent, it is my own fault.

Of course, many professions romanticized in the wake of September 11th were pretty self-important for a bit. Newly above reproach for poorly managed budgets and pushy unions, police and fire departments leveraged their status to secure pay hikes. In Seattle, allegations of police excesses were forgotten, because who could criticize brave men in uniform?

Even DC transit bureaucrats invoke patriotism to make their jobs easier. A poster in the subway states roughly, “Now more than ever, take your own d*** garbage off the train with you.” Not that a discarded cup or bottle looks so much like a suitcase bomb, of course, but city employees are way too important now for janitorial work.

Still, the airport safety attitude is by far the most insufferable. Air travel has not for some time been known for customer service. Flight attendants were well ahead of the game, reminding flyers even pre-9/11 that they “are here primarily for your safety,” and scolding us about frivolous use of our call buttons.

But the newly unfireable, militarized TSA authorities are the worst. The control freaks have taken over, and travelers are bullied with profound self-importance and little effort at civility. “Everyone empty your pockets now, and take those belts off. No, any belt! I don’t care,” the officers bark as I wonder when, exactly, I enlisted.

Retaliation is common against passengers who appear to resent the TSA’s interactive style. Even a request for clarification is a challenge worthy of punishment. At Boston Logan recently an officer “recommended” that we remove our shoes. Now, I happen to know that mine don’t beep. Still, his recommendations to those ahead of me were heeded, so I thought I’d double check. “So you’re just recommending the shoe thing?" I asked, “because mine don’t beep.”

“That’s right, you don’t have to take them off,” he answered. I stepped through silently. Please step over there for a personal inspection, and take your shoes off please,” the officer then announced victoriously. I wondered if this was on camera.

All of the above would be less galling if TSA employees were actually focused on finding weaponry. But instead they are focused on looking like they are looking. At National Airport I waited while an officer I can only hope was a rookie spent more than 20 minutes conducting an incompetent search of my carry-on that was intended to appear unimaginably thorough. He was so jazzed up – in the manner of a bomb squad on a deadline – that he missed obvious pockets even as he scrutinized the lining for suspicious lint.

The same fellow laid my suitcase on its side, placing an undue amount of weight on the curved handle. When I moved forward to retract the handle he put his hand on his gun and literally screamed at me to back off. These guys are terrorist-fighting Supermen, and they demand that you acknowledge it.

I’m relieved that the journalistic backlash has arrived, though sorry it must be led, as usual, by niche publications.

Credentialled

If a philosopher is one who philosophizes, then an economist must be one who economizes. Thus I have, in only a single semester of graduate school, become an economist! Who knew it could happen so quickly.

Guest Blogger

Allow me to introduce my brother Patrick Self as an occasional guest blogger to this site. In addition to being smart, handsome and charming, Patrick has also been just about everywhere. He'll focus on his travel adventures to relieve the tedium of my snarky comments on politics and culture. More importantly, he'll help to relieve the tedium of my recent lack of snarky comments on any subject.

Drunk Cycling

Timothy Bradley, a hapless alcohol enthusiast whose license was suspended last year for DUI, was arrested again. This time, he is charged with intoxicated bicycle riding. A judge will decide whether the legislature intended to cover cyclers who weave under Connecticut’s drunk driving law, a decision which if adopted internationally would put the majority of residents in Ferrara, Italy in imminent danger of arrest.

Back to the Beltway

Tomorrow I’ll fly back to DC for a couple of weeks to work at my old office and see friends. I really miss the place; Cambridge hasn’t been the same. Please drop me a line if you want to meet for a drink while I’m there.

Good News

It should come as a relief to those of us who worry that Generation Y takes politics too seriously to learn that 20% of them look primarily to The Daily Show and/or Saturday Night Live for political coverage.

Dean and Diversity

For reasons unclear other than the fact that he is the front-runner, Democratic primary opponents continue to give Dean a hard time on civil rights-related issues. Inadequately concerned about urban minorities yet unable to relate to Southern whites, this guy can’t seem to win the racial politics game.

Now, I’m among those who believe that Dean’s governorship of Vermont demonstrates instincts more moderate than his present rhetoric implies. But there’s little doubt that Dean’s core supporters look an awful lot like the privileged “white left” that were so enthused by Nader the last go around.

No question these independent coffee house-dwelling, anticoporate enviromantics offend the racial justice crowd’s strong practical streak. The aftermath of the primary season will provide an interesting opportunity to find out whether motown and lattetown can get together for a general election effort.

The Cooler Film

If you haven’t already, go see The Cooler, a unique film starring William H. Macy as Bernie Lootz, a guy who is so unlucky it’s catching. In fact, his luck is so reliably lousy and contagious that he works for Mafia boss Shelly Caplow (Alec Baldwin) as a “cooler,” someone who cools off customers on winning streaks at an aging Vegas casino. All he has to do is stand next to a winning player to sour his chances.

But Bernie starts spending time with Natalie (Maria Bello), a tough but pretty waitress who seems mysteriously attracted to him. His life improves, and his cooling abilities falter. The day after Natalie declares her love, Bernie walks into the casino a changed man wielding ambient luck so strong the casino loses a million dollars to overjoyed patrons within hours. Naturally, this turn of events does not please the Mafia, and painful tests of love and courage follow.

The movie defies stereotype. It’s not an ersatz foreign film, although it does (contrary to American major release etiquette) feature non-athletes in the buff. Nor is it a fantasy despite strong surrealistic elements. It’s not a gangster movie, a romantic comedy or a drama.

But it is a love story. The Cooler’s most striking theme is that love is not reserved for the world’s beautiful, brilliant or successful people. It’s not exclusive. Meeting a match doesn’t necessarily require being extraordinary in any way. But love is for the lucky. I guess that’s the point.

Puff Proof Poof!

New York border towns feel the pain of the state’s smoking ban as commuters flee while the more centrally located suck it up and sniffle into their beer. Congrats to Ban the Ban, which recently kept travesty a polite distance from reality in Washington DC bars.

Consensus Where It's Due

Apparently, the Hill is cool towards the coolest thing the President has proposed since he took office. Divided government has many virtues, this is not the issue for it. Lawmakers who fail to appreciate the need for immigration reform in developed nations should watch this movie over and over until they change their minds.

The People's iPod

The WAPO reports that Apple has licensed its wildly popular iPod to Hewlett-Packard for an undisclosed sum. This suprising move from a company so obsessed with preserving its brand may be partially explained by the licensee’s commitment to color the devices blue and clearly label them “HP” on the front. No mistaking one for the other, then, and market prices should establish the exact value of Apple’s cachet.

Too Cold

Following two weeks of 80 degree evenings in Honolulu, I returned to temperatures expected to hit zero degrees tonight. That’s enough to keep me in for the evening. I thought this was supposed to be global warming.

FDA Bounces Implants

The Boston Globe reports that the FDA has once again delayed a decision to loosen restrictions on silicone breast implants. The announcement came as a surprise to petitioner Inamed Corporation and its slender (though numerous) client base, previously buoyant due to a 9-3 vote by the scientific review board in favor of the safety of the product.

I suspect election year politics are at work here. The administration may see little point in releasing this red herring into the debate until a second term is secured. Or perhaps Karl Rove plans to mobilize millions of skinny ladies out there to vote this year for the candidate most likely to respect their God-given right to look fabulous in a halter-top. (Hint: it won’t be the one endorsed by NOW)